A separation is a grief process. It is a loss. Getting stuck in a Court does not help you move through the stages of grief to acceptance and your new life. The new life you deserve. A new life, free from witnessing arguments, that your children deserve.
Mediation is about you, not the lawyer. You get to speak to you ex-partner and what is even better, is s/he has to listen to you. Imagine that. For maybe the first time, your ex has to sit quietly while you say all those things you have always wanted to say. Of course, when it is his/her turn you also have to sit and listen. It is not about reuniting and rekindling your relationship. When children are involved its about being able to talk together about what they need, your grievances being heard and understood so you can talk together in the future. Every family is different. Don’t let someone impose a one size fits all regime on your family. Use mediation to talk about the uniqueness of your children and their needs and find a away to meet those needs. This type of mediation is about them. Often we encourage you to bring along a photograph of your children to look at during the mediation to remind you both what this is about.
Preparation is very important, so that when you talk you know exactly what you can and cannot do legally. Getting the right mediator is necessary. Having the right lawyer to support you, is vital. Make an appointment today to discuss.
The figures are staggering. Something like 90% of matters settle at mediation. Why is this? There are many articles by scholars that explain why this process works. It may be that you each get to speak to each other and the other party actually listens to you. Something that otherwise does not happen. You don’t get that opportunity in a Courtroom. In our experience most matters have a proverbial “elephant in the room”, that issue which is not legal in nature, but which prevents you from moving on. Perhaps, as one client told us, seeing him again close up after over a year, made her realise she was not missing out on anything, she saw him with fresh eyes free from the love/hate relationship, and then was able to envisage a new future for herself for the first time. Whatever it is that happens we like to think of it as a little bit of magic.
Mediation works for all kinds of disputes. Family Law property and children but also work place animosity disputes, neighbourhood disputes, commercial pre litigation and intergenerational family disputes. Whatever it is, mediation can help you. ‘
You will need a lawyer to help you prepare because there are legal issues you are trying to resolve. Sue Thomson can help with that part, she is an Accredited Family Law Specialist. She can be your lawyer, at your side throughout the whole process.
And getting a really good mediator, one who will control the mediation and allow it to remain polite and informative is essential. Sue Thomson can be your mediator too. She can’t be both your lawyer and your mediator though. A mediator must but independent and fair.
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